30

OK So I woke up and I was 30 years old. I invited one of my best friends over for my birthday. I needed to talk to him. I had been having this conversation in my head for the last few weeks. I want to have a baby. More importantly I want to have HIS baby. He is the man I trust the most which is pretty odd bc in so many ways he should be the one I trust the least. That's a whole other story lol We have known each other since Jr. High. We dated all through high school. I got pregnant by him in high school and the pregnancy didn't end well and I spent YEARS devastated. I think the part that hurt me the most is that I thought he was "ok" with everything that happened because he just didn't want to have a baby with me. Which caused me to be afraid to ask him if he wanted to try again for the last 12 years. He spent hours with me and my family. I waited and waited and waited. Finally he was about to leave so I just asked him when we were out by his car. He said YES! It didn't even seem like he thought about it twice lol Almost like it was silly of me to even ask...of COURSE the answer would be yes. lol So we're going to try to have a baby again. The Dr. says I have poly cystic ovaries. Which will make it hard or maybe even impossible to get pregnant again naturally. We will never be able to afford IVF. We are just your normal working folk. We normal working folk don't have $10,000 a pop for fertility treatments. So for the next year we will be temping and charting (I have been doing that for awhile already) and baby dancing on what we hope are the correct days.

I'm actually kinda nervous. My not so normal ovulation seems to take place between the 15 and 19th days of my cycle. So I am renting a nice hotel room for those days so we can relax and be alone and not deal with other people in either of our houses. We've had sex before. We've had sex A LOT actually lol but never to HAVE a baby. I'm going to go buy "special" outfits and everything. I want this to be as stress free as we both can make it.

For the record WebMd and the Internet in general can be a horrible place when you are afraid you have fertility issues. lol This blog is going to be my stress release.


THREE CHEERS FOR BABY MAKING!!!