Tuesday, March 30, 2010

We're ok

Ok so I'm not nearly as hurt as I was. He's having some legal issues and stuff so he's stressed and I guess didn't want to tell me. He just wanted to act like a macho man douche bag lol It wouldn't have been good anyway. Looks like I ovulated 2 days earlier than normal. So Saturday would have been too late anyway. I guess I saved some money for 2 or 3 nights at the hotel lol Back to the drawing board. I went to K-Mart today and went to the baby section to pick out something for my lil cousin and ended up crying all the way home. Horrible people can have babies .....why not me? Why not now? I can't question God.

Tomorrow I am going to try to get my Etsy store up and running. My bracelets are totally cute. :)

Friday, March 19, 2010

Out for this cycle (again)

Well I rented a nice hotel room and everything. Then I started to think about the fact that my BFF hadn't bothered to say if he went and got tested yet. So protecting myself I said well no lets not do it. Then I asked him if he had tested and he said yes I thought I told you. I have the paper work or whatever. So I said ok great then lets go ahead and go to the hotel tonight. He turns around and says no. :( It sucks bc my heart actually hurts. I did everything I was supposed to do this cycle. With each cycle my chances go down. So I will spend tonight in bed alone crying. Maybe next month. Maybe not. I really hurt inside right now.

Thursday, March 11, 2010


OK so this is NOT a fertility post. I was looking at a nice rental home to rent for an up coming vacation with one of my good friends in June of this year. I found what i thought was the perfect house and was in our price range. I SHOULD have known something was wrong from the first email. The property owner Karin (yes I am using REAL names due to not wanting others to deal with these assholes) questioned WHY we wanted to rent the house due to there only being two of us. Since when do you need 40 people to rent a house for a week. I explained (which I don't think I should have had to) that I am allergic to gluten and my friend is basically allergic to everything else. So I need to cook daily when we vacation together. I just get very sick when I eat gluten but my friend Jeff can DIE if he comes in contact with shell fish, nuts, soy and any other number of things. So cooking is kinda a must. AGAIN I don't think I should have had to explain myself but I did trying to be kind. The email address I used to contact her is hooked to a paypal account that is used by the church musician to purchase things for church. She is over 60 years old and until not too long ago didn't have her own email address so we setup the account using mine. I told this stupid cunt that I would get my Friend's paypal info ASAP. I NEVER stated I wanted or even HAD paypal account hooked to the email address I emailed her from. So of course the dumb ass sends the invoice to the email address I emailed her from AFTER I told her I would get Jeff's paypal info to her ASAP. I detest people who can't/don't/wont follow directions. SIMPLE DIRECTIONS! If I tell you that I will get the paypal info to you ASAP that would mean wait to send the bill until AFTER you get the paypal info right? Another thing that struck me as strange was that they required you to pay BEFORE seeing a contract or anything. We just figured paying via paypal would protect us from a scam. So Jeff sends me his paypal info and I forwarded it to her. Jeff's email address is a .cc not a .com (honestly I didn't know this made a difference). This BITCH then turns around and emails me with this shit....

My husband does not feel comfortable with this. The name for Inza (last name removed) comes up as (Legal name removed) when I sent the invoice. And now you want me to send the invoice to an email address pointing toward Keeling Islands in Central Africa, what the heck? I think we need to know you guys are legitimate people. My husband feels we cannot rent to you because of all the conflicting information.

It's only conflicting because this mindless CUNT can't follow directions. So I emailed dippy and her mind controlling husband the whois info for the domain name that Jeff owns and has owned for 13 YEARS. This twit didn't even bother to return the emails. I even sent her links to the whois searches and NOTHING. I guess people just can't admit when they are wrong and look fucking STUPID.

Their names are

Karin and Rick Dorn
(360) 990-6601


Monday, March 8, 2010

Ok We're all GOOD

Ok So I guess not as many of my selfish ways have vanished as I had originally thought. My FBD has been having job finding issues for while now (I got him fired on accident lol) and I guess I just ignored that. I've never known him to NOT have a job so I always just assume he'll be able to get one. With the economy the way it is the job market sucks. I just never thought it would suck for him since he has never had a problem finding a job. We went to dinner and talked about it. I said I was sorry. I never thought about it honestly. It was all about what I needed from him not what he needed in general. At least I know he isn't anti having a baby with me. I sent him some job info today and a couple days ago. I am going to make it a point to try to help him as much as I can. It's the least I can do. I mean I AM about to ovulate ok well i still have like 12 days but still lol I don't wanna miss this cycle. WOW There goes that selfish bitch again. Hey I'm a work in progress lol

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Chart update

Well I guess at first my chart was kinda off. It originally said I O-ed on the 15th but after adding a few more temps it changed to the 16th. I think I am doing good. I only missed 2 days of temping. I have to remember to not answer the phone when it wakes me up lol temp first and call whoever it was back when i'm done.

Scared out of my MIND

Ok so my BFF was supposed to get his STD testing done and he STILL hasn't. I asked him again today to make sure he gets it done ASAP. He said "when I have time". So I asked him if I asked for too much. He said "actually yes you do." I started joking with him about how I only wanted his sperm since it was either going to end up in a tissue or in a whore. Trying to feel bad that he thinks I am asking too much. He never actually SAID what I was asking too much of but I got the feeling it's the whole baby thing. I hope he isn't changing his mind. I have been trying to avoid getting ahead of myself and crying about it. It's hard. I want this so much and I thought he did too. Maybe I just need to cry it out until I know for sure. I don't wanna push the issue but I'm not getting any younger and well sperm banks seem to cost a lot. I checked into those before I asked him to have a baby with me. It's crazy. I feel in my heart he wants to but my head isn't so sure. Or maybe it's the other way around? I don't know. I think I will have a good cry.