Scared out of my MIND

Ok so my BFF was supposed to get his STD testing done and he STILL hasn't. I asked him again today to make sure he gets it done ASAP. He said "when I have time". So I asked him if I asked for too much. He said "actually yes you do." I started joking with him about how I only wanted his sperm since it was either going to end up in a tissue or in a whore. Trying to feel bad that he thinks I am asking too much. He never actually SAID what I was asking too much of but I got the feeling it's the whole baby thing. I hope he isn't changing his mind. I have been trying to avoid getting ahead of myself and crying about it. It's hard. I want this so much and I thought he did too. Maybe I just need to cry it out until I know for sure. I don't wanna push the issue but I'm not getting any younger and well sperm banks seem to cost a lot. I checked into those before I asked him to have a baby with me. It's crazy. I feel in my heart he wants to but my head isn't so sure. Or maybe it's the other way around? I don't know. I think I will have a good cry.